• From: Adrian Whitehead [ebidoria@vcn.bc.ca]
• Subject: Swedish ad

This is a real ad that was published today in a big Swedish newspaper, DN. The company is called Locum and is the company that owns it runs the real estate that the public sector uses, like hospitals, gov't buildings etc. Bet you the guys at their ad agency are updating their resumes right now...

Oh man, this is just too funny. Or maybe it isn't. Everyone loves cum!

• From: Ring, Jordan [jringcci@hotmail.com]
• Subject: Reader_Mail

I used to get pissed when I found out that my EX sent this to many-a-website. Now I get lots 'o puss from it. Have a heart and post it...I could always use more pootannany...just because you dont get any, dont deny the rest of us...

You're a fat fuck and an insult to homosexuals everywhere. Get your cock outta my face and shave your back you douche bag -- that picture is nothing to be proud of.

• From: KoRn DoG [def_korn@hotmail.com]
• Subject: 666 COLD

hey stile,

two friends of mine (deidre & della) were riding around and decided to stop in this gas station they had never been to before to get some candy and a drink. when they went in they walked down the misc. aisle with bread, tylenol, yellow-jackets, etc. and deidre saw this cough syrup and showed it to della. deidre said, "666 COLD!" and della said "oh my god, we gotta get it for mikey, if we don't have enough money we will ask dad for some" "we gotta give it to mikey, he's the anti-christ". i felt so special that they thought of my. 666 COLD now displays on top of my slipknot lunchbox.

Click here to see the picture.

• From: Aaron Gooch [gstsmokedu@home.com]
• Subject: Suspect Package

Hey man I just want to say how much I love your site. I enjoy being able to come home from work and see what crazy fucked up shit you've got. I am in the Air Force and work as a Bomb Technition (EOD "explosive ordnance disposal"). You know, one of those crazy mutherfuckers that says hey I can defuse that bomb. Yeah well this popped into my lap and I knew at that instant that you had to see this shit. It was a suspect package from Langley AFB in Va.

Keep up the site and anyone that tells you different, well you know, tell them to shut their fucking holes.

If you don't think there are some f-ing whacks out there, check out these pics from Langley. Yea, I think I'd call this a suspicious package.

ITEM OF INTEREST
SUBJECT: EMERGENCY RESPONSE
DATE: 25OCT01

NARRATIVE.

Langley AFB EOD flight requested to respond to a suspect letter at building 558, ACC Commanders office. Team perform a reconnaissance [in Level C PPE], radiographed a business sized letter which was already placed in two plastic bags. Team determined from radiograph -- not to have an explosive hazard.

OSC (on-scene commander) requested the EOD team to remove the letter from the building and open. EOD flight openned the letter and tested it with the Bio-Essay test kit. The first two tests showed no
indications and the last six test also showed negative indications. The EOD team turned the letter over to 1FW SP and OSI. Incident was terminated at 1830 hours.

Image #1 - Image #2 - Image #3 - Image #4 - Image #5 - Image #6

• From: steve smiley [hhsmiley@hotmail.com]
• Subject: Reader_Mail

Stile and all,

I just felt the need to share a recent experience I had. I'm employed at a well known home improvement warehouse. Last week it was our turn to clean the shitters at night. I received a cryptic phone call from another employee instructing me to "go check out stall number three" in the men's bathroom. They quickly hung up before I could ask why. I had to check it out though, and was greeted by one of the most amazing things I have ever seen. Words can not do justice to the sight that I beheld. It was the single largest piece of shit that I have ever seen in my life. I was not aware that a human being could produce a grogan of such magnitude. It was more than a foot long and close to six inches in diameter. It looked for all the world like a great brown two-liter bottle staring up at me out of the bowl.

Much of the log was jutting out of the water and it looked like it would almost reach the bowl rim itself. I flushed the toilet a couple of times, but the beast just sat there, unmoved, and appeared to be taunting me. It was clearly not only enormous, but quite hard as well. Comparatively speaking it was definitely more rock than mud in composition. By this time every male employee (and a couple of females too) had been in to gaze in utter amazement at the sheer girth of the great brown trunk of shite. One even
managed a picture or two with a disposable camera. I've sent a copy so that others here may share in my bafflemnt at how such a thing could even exist.

But, we had a duty to perform and we had to get rid of it somehow. But how? Taking it out of the toilet was not an option as it could be dropped, or God forbid, come into actual physical contact with one of us. One thing was certain though, it was simply too large and rigid to go down in its current form. The first attempt at dislodging the giant thing was a chemical strike in which an entire gallon of liquid plumber was poured into the toilet in an attempt to break the turd up. An hour later this had managed only to
decrease the girth of the poo by an inch or so, and it was still in one solid, massive piece. In the end, myself and another intrepid employee managed to break it into smaller chunks with a stick (a long one). Retching and gagging all the while, we at last managed to flush the beast. We were all strangely dissappointed, however, in ruining what was obviously a work of great effort on someone's part, and a true natural wonder and testament to the human anus' ability to expand. This thing would undoubtedly have given even the goatse man cause to strain and break into a sweat. I find myself wondering just what kind of poor soul is cursed to take such monstrous dumps.

I know it would suck if I had to break my poo up with a stick every time I shat just to get it to flush. A lot of folks may wonder, "why is he going on and on about a piece of feces?". If you had seen the SIZE of that godammed thing you would no longer wonder. While utterly disgusting, the sheer mass of the great grogan was hard to get our minds around, and as such, was quite fascinating. If you're on this site, images of feces in various forms will probably be nothing new to you, but this is certainly something special. I am actually disappointed by the picture's inability to convey the gigantitude of the crap. Keep in mind it's a big commercial type terlet, and that the entire bottom of the bowl is covered, and that the turd is clearly much wider than the drain hole of the commode.

• From: steve smiley [hhsmiley@hotmail.com]
• Subject: Reader_Mail

What's the worst thing about a lung Transplant?......

That First mouthful of Phlegm Isn't yours.

• From: ekvatorial guinea [danskjavlar@hotmail.com]
• Subject: Kuk

Now I suppose you already know that kuk is dick in swedish, but I thought I'd enlighten you about another swedish word that is kind of amusing. Byxmyndig. It is a word we use when someone turns fifteen and thus can legally fuck. It literally means 'pants come of age', sort of anyway... So if you say 'Hell she isn't even byxmyndig.' you are talking about someone younger than fifteen. 'Or, hey, you are byxmyndig now' and you give a fifteen year old a bunch of condoms on their birthday.

Sort of cute. Kuk kuk.

• From: Something Orother [otherorsomething@hotmail.com]
• Subject: Kuk

So I'm in San Diego this summer and me and some of my Navy buds decide to go to Tijuana because a few of them weren't 21 and we all wanted to drink.

So we go do the TJ scene, but its early and not time to go to the clubs yet, so we drop in some crappola strip club to have a few drinks and see naked fat mexican chicks.

well after a few drinks some not so attractive but not nessasarily butt ugly mexican chick sits on Matt's lap. matt is a bud of mine. She is whispering shit in his ear and we have no idea what's going on until he says something like "No all i have is 20 dollars and I'm using it on beer tonight, thanks." We figured out she was a prostitute.

well then she says loud and coherently, and believe me, i will never forget this, because i started to laugh so hard i was crying, she said "I bet you 20 dollars you can't shit on my face." we're all like "what the fuck" and laughing our asses off. She repeated herself and we convinced Matt he should do it.

So we leave the strip club and she takes us out in this alley and she lays down. Matt, who is sorta pudgy, drops his pants and squats. He is grunting and squeezing but can't shit on her cause she's blowing air on his asshole. He tried and tried and couldn't do it, it was too damn funny. He gives up and gives her the 20 bucks and she gets up and goes off, making fun of all of us. Matt is mad and i had to pay his cover at the club later that night cause he was broke, luckily it was 10 dollars entrance all you can drink.

anyways, we are on the boat the next day telling some people this hilarious story. we decided we wanted to find some ex-lax and go back and make the deal with her again. well this enlisted guy in the engine room says he has some stuff that'll work even better, its what they use top clean the engine or something, and he poured a small amount into a plastic cup. it smelled alot like alcohol, anyways Matt too the shot. He got sick and was puking and shitting all the rest of the day, i mean the kid was MISERABLE. well he didn't want to go to TJ that night but we convinced him.

we went to the same strip club and started drinking, matt didn't he just sat there clenching his fists. we were laughing our asses off cause the kid was sweating and shaking, he looked like a wreck. he was like "guys i REALLY have to shit. its killin me" but just before he left to go the sam chick walks up and started talking to us, making fun of us again. then she says, "how about double or nothing" and we're all like "i don't know and matt is like, "alright" and she laughs and takes us out back again.

well she lies in the same spot and Matt hobbles over there (cause he is really hurting and REALLY has to shit). he dropped his pants and she started her blowing thing but it didn't matter, nasty liquid shit just exploded out of his butthole all over her face, in her eyes, all over her white shirt, all over matts pants, large explosions. We were all crying we were laughing so hard, I only saw part of it cause my eyes were closed i was laughing so hard. someone snagged the 20 from her and we took off back to the US of A.
One of the funniest damn things that I have ever seen personally. true story.