Welcome back to Stile Project's reader mail section, where you, loyal reader, get to share your pearls of wisdom. Just make sure to wash your hands after. If you have something to contribute, feel free to e-mail me.

Older reader mail: 25 / 26 / 27 / 28 / 29 / 30 / 31 / 32 / 33 / 34 / 35 / 36 / 37 / 38 / 39 / 40

• From: Rob [rdiakiw@hotmail.com]
• Subject: Border Search

A US customs Primary Inspector at a border crossing with Mexico asked the driver of this Suburban for vehicle registration. Suddenly, a hand came out of the glove compartment, producing the requested document which the driver showed the inspector.

Since the drive did not appear to be a member of the "Addams Family," the inspector became suspicious, thus leading to a full search. Just think, if alien smugglers can put a 135lb body behind the dashboard, imagine what they can do with dope.

smugz 1 | smugz 2 | smugz 3

• From: Al Bundy [slasherx@hotmail.com]
• Subject: teh funnayz

The spark had been lost in this guy's marriage, so he was trying to think of a way to rekindle it.

One night he came home from work, and found his wife asleep in bed. He thought to himself, "what should I do? Oh- I know." He proceeded to get under the covers and go down on his wife. Soon she began to gently squirm and moan in pleasure. After a few minutes, her body spasmed with ecstasy as she climaxed.

Afterwards, the man went straight to the bathroom to brush his teeth.

When he got there, the light was on and he saw his wife there shaving her legs. He exclaimed, "What are you doing in here?!?"

She said, "Shhhh!," pointing at the bed, "You'll wake your mother!"

• From: Brandon [zenislev_8@yahoo.com]
• Subject: Reader Mail

Something happened to me just two hours ago. It was traumatizing enough that I thought you'd probably enjoy it.

Me and my girlfriend have been dating for about six months. We're real close, and everything, and our relationship has just gotten real sexual in the last two or so months.

So we're having sex this afternoon, right? She's on top, and I slip out momentarily. So I go to insert myself in again, and it accidentally (and I honest to God mean accidentally) goes into her asshole. Like one or two inches, max. This isn't crazy, right? Happens to everybody once in their life.

She says ow a few times. I flinch, and feel bad. But then she keeps on saying ow, and her body clenches up real tight. She then falls off me, and she's lying there silently for a few seconds. Next thing I know, she goes into a seizure. Full-on, teeth-chattering, gasping, shaking seizure. So I sat there in horror, as I watched my girlfriend convulse and foam, naked on the bed. I didn't have any fucking idea what to do. Like. Put something between her teeth, or ... Lift her legs, or whatever. So like most people who are scared shitless, I just sat like a deer in the headlights. After about a minute, I run upstairs, where her mother and sister where watching television. So I call 911 in the middle of their family room. Naked.

Well. Long story short, she was okay. And I can tell with pride that my penis caused seizures. But. I'm shaken to my very core. And. I won't be getting laid for quite awhile. Such is my life.

Once again, I really respect your work. That might sound like bullshit. But. I know you work hard. Thanks.

• From: Juan
• Subject: Venezuela

One picture says more than thousand words. This is what Mr. Chávez (President of Venezuela, you ignorants!) is doing when non armed people protest in the streets against his government. Human Rights are violated every day in Venezuela and we still don't get the full international support just because Chávez was democratically elected... so was Hitler. Enjoy the pictures...

Kknegra

protest 1 | protest 2 | protest 3 | protest 4 | protest 5 | protest 6
protest 7 | protest 8 | protest 9

• From: Angelo [angelo@deviantart.com]
• Subject: Randoms

ROFL http://www.indiesoundz.com/diversions.htm

you have to post this.

... are you devious?
http://www.deviantart.com

• From: atest@CLEMSON.EDU
• Subject: reader mail

Stile,

Hey man, what's up? You know, I have to agree with you; the world really IS going to hell in a hand-basket. Not that I'm really putting forth any extra effort to do anything about it, but I suppose unfortunately that's typical of most people. Like anyone else, however, I have things to bitch about too. I'm just looking for a little support on the subject, so let me know what you think.

Anyway, I have a serious problem with people accepting flip-flops and sandals as being "ok" in society. I don't know if I hate the idea of the footwear itself or if it's more just the people who wear them that irritates me. It seems to me that the only time (outside of being in the vicinity of water) anyone's ever wearing flip-flops is when they're either too fat to care what they look like, or they think Dave Matthews is God. I mean, the fat crowd has an viable excuse; they can't even see below their gut for Christ sake, but for the rest of them... come on!!!!!!!!

As far as the hippy-wanna' be's, they obviously would rather be free of shoes altogether, so why not? If you're gonna' be disgusting, why not be disgusting all of the way? And did you ever really look at what these vial-ass things look like? JESUS CHRIST, they're filthier than my taint. Walking in bare-feet would be more sanitary than having to step on those three year old dirt-encrusted pieces of padding time and time again (Not that I support that either).

And here's the kicker... Somehow the guys are getting girls. Can you believe it? Maybe if I don't bathe for a week, go out and buy a hemp necklace, and learn to throw a disk I can bang a super-model too.

But anyway, they are a health hazard. The government's worried about fighting war with Iraq; they should be taking care of problems on the home front. SAY NO TO THE FLIPPING AND FLOPPING OF TODAY'S YOUTH!!!!!!!!!

And about those assholes that keep nagging you to update, FUCK EM'!!! If they don't have anything better to do than sit around and hold their breath waiting for you to help them get a nut off then FUCK EM'!!!!!!!! They're not worth your time or getting upset over.

• From: Randall [shallowwater@carolina.rr.com]
• Subject: Reader Mail

Stile,

Patience, man. You got it, and I respect you for it. From the way your inbox sounds, you're like the customer service center for all the preverts of the web, and maybe Jesse Jackson, too. I'm a retail refugee, so I can sympathize with you on the subject of harassing assholes, you know, the people who use the relative anonymity of a mall shopping experience or internet surfing to abuse some schmuck because the opportunity apparently never presented itself before....

That's not really what inspired me to write. Actually, my reason is much more banal. You said one thing that I found particularly true: If a chick is hot, she's hot. And most of the chicks up on camwhores are hot. I admit I check a couple of times a day....who wouldn't Some hot ass way out of my league smart girlie who's about my age gettin' nekkid? Live?! I'm there. White girls, Asian girls, black girls, Latina......don't matter. What does matter: facial structure. Physical imperfection, not perfection. And natural gear....nothing but natural gear....

Steph the Geek and Paperdoll? They can both be vice presidents. As long as there are state of the world addresses weekly and they present, 'sall good.

Man, I'd vote for you for president of the world. Maybe then I could smoke bud with the windows open. Until I get off my lazy ass and post something else to Blogwars......

SiSSYFaggot - Blogwarrior

• From: felix [felix_the_helix@yahoo.com]
• Subject: Qin Dynasty Torture Pictures from Xian China

Good site. Somehow, this link reminded me of it, and I thought you'd appreciate it:

http://www.choey.com/travel/000815_BigTrip/z_4xian/QinShihuangTomb/torture.htm

I know you're busy, so I don't expect an reply.

keep on!

• From: Acloudedmind@aol.com
• Subject: your hoodie got me laid

hey stile. I've been loyal to your shit ass site for like.. quite a while now.

I figured, you give me something to keep my idle mind occupied, even if it filthy porn and sick and twisted videos. I love them all, and want you to keep them comming. So in my logic, I had to pay you back. I bought a stileproject hoodie, cuz not only did they look good, but I wanted to lose my virginity. Me being a 18 year old virgin at the time, 2 weeks before the ol' 19. SOOOO I got the hoodie 3 days before my birthday, and wore it out that very night. And guess fucking what. I got Laid. Lost the virginty 'cuz of your hoodie.

So shit, I still owe you one. Maybe I'll get my girlfriend to carve STILE SUX into my nutsack and send you a pic. But until then, I'm gonna go fuck her up the ass wearing the hoodie and scream out your name. 'Cuz she likes it like that. stile sucks. and cuz of his hoodie, the girls suck too. my cock.
later man.

• From: Rimmer [ace-rimmer@planet.nl]
• Subject: Reader Mail - new site: Brown World

Dear Mr. Stile,

Since you like freaky links, you might want to look at my new site http://brownworld.topcities.com . Brown World is a turd gallery and nothing else. If you have seen anything like this, please tell me. I posted this site because I got bored with all those scat sites that were full of naked people. I want to see pure shit, no distractions.

Horny Regards,

Arnold J. Rimmer, turdmaster.

• From: Al Bundy [slasherx@hotmail.com]
• Subject: Canadian Temperature Conversion Chart

Canadian Temperature Conversion Chart

50 degrees Fahrenheit (10 C): Californians shiver uncontrollably. Canadians plant gardens.

35 Fahrenheit (1.6 C): Italian cars won't start.Canadians drive with the windows down.

32 Fahrenheit (0 C): American water freezes. Canadian water gets thicker.

0 Fahrenheit (-17.9 C): New York City landlords finally turn on the heat. Canadians have the last cookout of the season.

-60 Fahrenheit (-51 C): Mt. St. Helens freezes. Canadian Girl Guides sell cookies door-to-door.

-100 Fahrenheit (-73 C): Santa Claus abandons the North Pole. Canadians pull down their ear flaps.

-173 Fahrenheit (-114 C) Ethyl alcohol Freezes.Canadians get frustrated when they can't thaw the keg.

-460 Fahrenheit (-273 C) Absolute zero; all atomic motion stops. Canadians start saying "cold, eh?"

-500 Fahrenheit (-295 C): Hell freezes over. The Leafs win the Stanley Cup.

• From: Elliott [born_of_lillith@hotmail.com]
• Subject: Not another clone? Maybe.

I'm gonna agree with you when you say your generation sucks, due to the fact that so does mine, and so will millions yet to come. Here in australia we have 12 year olds giving headjobs for crack in the alleys behind porno theatres, 10 year olds having gangwars, and even younger kids being raped or flipping out and killing their whole fucking family.

I've seen 8 year olds shooting up, I've seen goth kids getting the crap beaten out of them with pieces of tiling behind school buildings, I've seen 14 year olds smoking pot and snorting a couple of lines at a supposedly drug-free underage dance party. Our generation isn't only bored, it's silent. There are so many out there who are so fucking afraid of being excluded that they refuse to say anything to anyone about the shit they've seen. I'm not even 19, I'm not even old enough to legally drive a moped. But somehow, things still aren't all that bad.

Kain.