Halloween is hands down my favorite fucking
holiday of the year. I can go outside without fear of being
lynched. This is the only day of the year that people think
my face is just a mask and leave me the hell alone. The other
364 days of the year I have to keep myself locked inside for
fear of being beat
down by the locals. We hates them! But
we loves Jessica Alba's sweet naked teen ass!
I had a fucking miserable time growing up. Even my mother
hated me. I grew up in a small town in Nunavut. The other
kids used to beat
the shit out of me every single day after school, while
screaming at the top of their lungs "poo
face faggot!" They treated me like I was a leper.
Even the fat and retarded kids picked on me. It's not my fault
that half of my entire face is covered in a brown birthmark
that just so happens to look like my mom took
a dump on my face while giving birth to me. I seriously
had the worst childhood ever, but that probably isn't a surprise
to you, dear reader, considering the type of website that
I ended up running. I'm a shut-in who
drinks from the moment I wake up, to the moment I go to
sleep.
One time in fifth grade at recess, a group of kids actually
came up to me and asked if I wanted to play with them. I think
that was the first and only time anyone asked me to play.
I smiled the
biggest smile of my life, and said I would love to play!
I had tears of joy in my eyes, and thought that people finally
saw past the poo mark. That's when I felt a swift
blow to the nuts, and two of the fuckers grabbed my arms
and pulled me down to the ground. I couldn't breathe. My eyes
rolled back from the pain. Two other kids pulled
down their pants and began to rub their asses in my face,
laughing the whole time, while saying to the other kids that
they took a crap on my face. I
fainted.
I never leave my house under any circumstance, except for
Halloween. If I close my eyes real tight I can still see all
the kids from school gathered around me in a circle, chanting
"poo face faggot! poo face faggot!" over and over
again. They all took turns kicking me in the nuts, and made
me eat rocks. Once they thought I was full, they would grab
my face and push
it in the mud while one of the bigger kids would take
a stick and ram it up my ass through my pants as far as
it possibly could go. After the beating I would stagger home
like a drunken hobo, with leaves and broken
twigs sticking out of my bleeding ass. You know, I didn't
really mind the whole being forced
to eat rocks and mud thing. Even having jagged pieces
of tree
bark lodged inside my rectum wasn't that bad compared
to the way people looked at me when I went out. It's like
they only see the poo stain and not the
real me. But once a year, I am free. I can go anywhere
I want, and hold my head up high with pride, knowing that
no one will treat me different, because they don't realize
how different I really am. And that's why today I am happy,
for once in my life.
Here's a nice light snack to satisfy
you until the main course arrives. Make sure you tune in tomorrow
for a massive weekend gigawank fest, and some other goodies!
With the exception of the way that the local homeless crackwhore
cries when I sodomize her, there are admittedly few drawbacks
to having an oversized
penis. I am always running out of hot water trying to
scrub that thing clean. I can't date anybody less than 5'4"
tall because sex turns into an abdominal exam. Also, unless
I'm standing on a milk crate in the men's room, every urinal
in town is hung a little too high. Unfortunately, my physician
doesn't think my unusually
large instrument qualifies as a handicap, so I can't get
one of those disabled stickers to put on my car so I can park
in those disabled parking spots. My lawyer has advised me
to post a disclaimer next to my bedroom doorway, just in case
I get sued for an accidental hysterectomy.
But the benefits of hugeness
are nice, considering I used to be hung like a three year
old. Since these guys started supplying me with these
vitamins, my ego has increased in proportion to my dick.
My favorite topic of conversation is either what damage I've
inflicted with my meat
hammer, or telling some innocent young lady what I'm about
to do to her. If you're interested in learning more about
what I'm raving about, all you have to do is click this link.
Do it now, before it's too late. Remember, the
first month is free.
Jessie is so new to the porn industry that she really
has no clue what she's in for. She's barely a whore, and
has the
most beautiful pussy I've ever seen. She's
so young and fresh... and drop dead gorgeous. Her
tits are amazingly round and firm, and she'll let you
fuck
her in the ass if you pay her enough.
